Category Archives: Journey to the Dream Job

Things often happen at the right timing. When I had a drop-in career clinic session at my university as I wrote in the previous post, the counselor advised me to apply for Job Shadow Experience, which is part of their Experience Builder Program. It’s an opportunity for students and alumni to “have the chance to spend a day gaining first-hand workplace experience”. In other words, it lets students and alumni “shadow” professionals in a field of their interest. I knew the program but assumed it was for current students and didn’t expect she would recommend it to me. The deadline was 11:59 pm of the day. I went home, revised my resume, wrote a cover letter and submitted them online 11 minutes before the deadline. A few days later, I got email of acceptance.

It turned out to be a good experience. From a list of Job Shadow posts, I chose a project engineer position at an engineering design company in Cambridge, Ontario. People who work for an engineering project are usually engineers at different levels and a manager. But in that company there are project engineers between a project manager and other engineers. It was rare opportunity for me to talk with people who work for an engineering project like that. Besides their roles and capabilities, what impressed me was their attitude. Everyone who I talked to said “I like this job”. Honestly, I have not met people like them in workplaces I have ever been. Two of them have worked for the company for 15 years, which is uncommon in North America.

Yesterday, the day after Job Shadow Experience, I sent out thank you email to the mentors. They replied right away, and some of them told me that I could contact them when I need their help. It’s a typical polite reply and it does not mean, of course, that they will help me get a job. But they are actually helpful and when I was talking with them they showed me a sincere attitude. It’s good to know that some people treat me in that way when I tend to feel helplessness. It’s good to know some people think of me.

Today is BoA’s birthday. Happy birthday, BoA! It’s good to know I can still think of someone in this way.

It’s been two weeks since I was laid off. Now it seems “more real” to me than it was right after that. Yesterday, I visited the career service of my university in Hamilton to have a “drop-in clinic” session. While I was waiting for my session in the waiting area after signing up, I found a ladybug on a table in front of me. Ladybug is tentomushi in Japanese, which literally means “sun bug”. If I understand correctly, ladybug is called “sun bug” in Japan because they are always walking toward the sun. The fact is that they always walk upward to get to a tip of something, like grass or branch, because they are not good at flying out of a flat surface. Flying is more efficient way to get to a different point, and they keep walking upward to move on.

As I mentioned in an old post, I don’t like so-called positive thinking for some reasons. First of all, I don’t like typical positive thinkers’ dualism as seen in their typical argument like “thinking ‘half empty’ is negative and bad, thinking ‘half full’ is positive and good”. Positive thinking may make you feel better in an apparently bad situation, but I prefer to see everything as it is (though it is virtually impossible) and to think what I can do from there realistically whether the glass is half full or half empty. It’s so easy to be depressed when people are unemployed, as I had experienced two years ago and as I am experiencing right now. Some people may tell me “think positively. This can be a good opportunity for a better job”, which may be true, actually. But I still prefer seeing the current situation as it is whether it is positive or negative and think realistically.

Through the counseling yesterday, however, I found that I often think negatively. I often hesitate to write my accomplishments on my resume, believe or not. The logic behind that is that I don’t want to talk about bad things about other people on my resume; what I did was to make a bad situation “normal”, and in order to tell it I have to describe how bad other people had been. What I found yesterday is that I only need to tell how much I improved something, whether I saw it as from bad to normal or from normal to better. This must be nothing special for many other people, but for me it is a different way of thinking. My viewpoint at work had been negative while I could have seen everything as it was. Now, let’s recall what I have done so far from a different viewpoint, and think how I can describe it as my accomplishments. Recently I found that this is a good opportunity for me to re-think of myself and what I have done from a different perspective, or from the perspective that I used to have but forgot because of the depressing job. I may look like a ladybug for some people. I am only looking for a practical place to take off, but it may look like a positive thinker walking toward the sun. Whether it is realistic or positive, I need to keep walking anyways.

By the way, about a century ago, a famous feminist in Japan stated “元始、女性は太陽であった (originally, women were the sun)”. According to her, it makes sense to call ladybug “sun bug”, doesn’t it?

I know this is odd feelings. When I feel good, I feel something is wrong, i.e., I chronically feel not good in last few years.

Of course the last part of this statement is exaggerated. Like I often wrote, I enjoyed volunteering as a TA at McMaster. I felt good then. Meeting my friends is fun of course. But I often have that feelings, and it happened this morning when I was driving to my work place. I know why I felt good; as I wrote in a previous post, MVP workers’ smile makes me happy, and it was yesterday (it is usually on Monday but it was a holiday this week). But feeling good on the way to work is odd, honestly. The reason of the feelings this morning was obvious, but seriously, I often feel something is wrong when I feel good.

As I wrote in an old post, I have not spent “normal life” in last couple of decades. This is what I wrote then.

In last couple of decades, I always do two things simultaneously; doing a full-time job or equivalent like being a full-time student, and preparing for the next step. What I mean by “living normally” is to do one full-time job and spend spare time on hobbies without worrying about next step.

Now I have a full-time job, but I do not think I have settled down. As I wrote in another previous post, I felt so unstable when I was a temporary employee. And even now I still feel unstable. The reason is obvious as I wrote in a recent post. Now, do I need to redefine “normal life”? Like described in an internet article that I referred to in another previous post, life is uncontrollable. Should I accept that being unstable is normal? Maybe I should. But this does not mean I should give up. Perhaps in the future I will spend abnormal stable life. Who knows?

I went to a Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood a few days ago. The fortune cookie said “you will soon receive an unusual proposition”. Unusual proposition?? For one second I thought of something romantic, but it did not happen (so far). Instead, I received an unusual job offer today. As I wrote in a previous post, I got a temporary daytime job unexpectedly. It is a Japanese company in Mississauga. A senior manager often told me that he expects me to work for the company for a long term, but we have not discussed anything officially. Today another manager told me to read a document, sign it and return it to him. It was a job agreement for a full-time position. I even did not have a chance to negotiate. This is an unusual proposition.

It is not only unusual, but… In an old post, when I was going to take a temporary technical interpreter job in Orillia, I wrote “How close is it to my goal?  If the goal is Calgary and I start from Hamilton, I will be in Montreal next month”. Now, taking this job is like going to Halifax. But I still need to take this job for one reason; I need to settle down. If this journey will eventually take me to Calgary, I would do whatever I can now. Whether it is good or bad, fortune is fortune.

Today I had a chance to chat with a Japanese coworker who is somehow in a similar situation. It is good to have someone to share thought. The conversation with her encouraged me.

By the way, I went to the Chinese restaurant today again. Today’s fortune cookie says “happiness surrounds your event this week”. It is now Friday evening, and I’m not planning any event tomorrow. It’s not gonna happen. Oh well.

Right after the terrible job interview with a terrible company where I was asked “how old are you?” as I wrote in the previous post, the recruiting agency told me about another job at a Japanese company in Mississauga. A week after, I was hired as a temporary employee for a month. Unlike the terrible one who seemed to have known they would not hire me before meeting me, the current company knew they would hire me before meeting me. Surprisingly, they hired me without a job interview. They, of course, had heard about me from the recruiting agency, and this is only a temporary job. But it was unexpected. When things happen, they could happen like this.

Yes, things are happening. But for this time, perhaps I should not just let things happen but might need to make things happen as I hope. The point will be what I hope. Probably my hope will be different from my wish. I have a few weeks to think of it. Anyway, let’s see how the looser will fail.

By the way, my first impression of the current company is not bad. It is at least better than the previous one in Orillia. This does not mean that there is no problem, but the difference between the current one and the previous one is that people in the current work place seem to recognize that there are problems. Having problems is one problem, and not recognizing it is another, rather more disastrous problem.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I had a job interview yesterday. It was terrible. It looked like they had known they would not hire me before they met me. It’s a Japanese company, and there ware five interviewers: one Canadian HR manager, two Canadian executives, one Japanese executive, and one young Japanese kid. The HR kept smiling at me, the Canadian executives looked very reluctant and only asked ordinary questions like “what did you learn at school?”, and what the Japanese ones technically did was asking questions, but those “questions” ware actually messages to me that they would not hire me. I like harsh questions because answering harsh questions is a good chance to show my ability. But their questions ware not harsh but mean. Why the hell did it happen?

It all makes sense if I suppose in this way; there is a rule in that Japanese company that they have to interview a certain number of candidates to hire one person, and I was not selected as one based on my resume. The HR knew it, felt bad to me, and kept smiling at me to make me feel less bad. The Canadian executives knew it, knew that the interview would only waste their time and that they had to do it because it was decided by Japanese executives, and ware so reluctant. The Japanese ones knew it, and since they are typical bossy Japanese bosses, they gave me mean messages. I don’t know. But it makes sense anyway. Typical Japanese people love to make rules to show that they are rule followers.

I really don’t know. But if that’s the rule, it’s so silly. They wasted their time, I wasted my time and gasoline (it’s in Palmerston and takes 1.5 hours drive one way), and above all, they made a very very bad image of the company. Even if it was not the rule, what makes them ask mean questions? As I mentioned, I like harsh questions, but there is a big difference between “harsh” and “mean”.

How mean? When the Japanese executive started his turn, he said “英語で訊けない事があるので日本語で話します (I should not ask those questions in English, so I ask in Japanese)”, and asked me “お歳はいくつですか (How old are you)?” HOW OLD ARE YOU??? Is this the first question in a job interview? No way! He asked the question knowing that it’s against the Canadian rule. Now I think I should have answered that question in English so that every Canadian there would know it.

In an old post, I wrote “charity is not for people”. If you do good things to people, those people will do good things to other people, and eventually someone else will do a good thing to you. Charity is not only for other people but also for yourself. The opposite is also true. If you do bad things to other people, it will eventually result in something bad for you. But that seems their corporate culture.

Another Japanese proverb goes “see people’s behavior and correct yours”. I should use this experience as an opportunity to learn. What mean things do I do to other people? How do I make other people feel terrible? What could it result in? They seem to have given me a good lesson.