Memory of Mess

The freezing rain in Southern Ontario last weekend changed many things. Tree branches coated with a thick clear layer of ice look incredibly beautiful especially around sunset. But the same phenomenon on something else left a big problem for a huge number of people in the region; some power lines were down because of a heavy thick layer of ice. It’s been five days since the ice storm, but thousands of people are still living without power.

In an early post, I wrote about scenery and seasonal food; autumn leaves even in Canada remind me of some seasonal Japanese food. In another early post, I wrote about a strange connection between a natural disaster and my childhood memories; a typhoon (or hurricane) evokes memories of chestnuts. A day after the ice storm, I drove in the city and witnessed what the natural disaster left. Unlike the memory of typhoon and chestnuts, it was more straightforward. When I saw traffic lights turned off, I remembered the mess after the massive earthquake that hit Eastern Japan on March 11, 2011.

It even evoked the emotion at the time. I quit a job a day before the earthquake. A job interview had been scheduled soon after that, but it was cancelled because of the mess after the earthquake. It was the start of helpless job hunting. TV news revealed the severe, unbelievable reality in the disaster areas day by day. I felt completely helpless. It is surprising to find that even a small event, turned-off traffic lights, can evoke such emotion. It was probably the combination of the scenery and the current situation. As I wrote in a previous post, I got a new temporary job, which means that until recently I had been unemployed. The manager of the current work place told me that he expects me to work for a long term, but nothing is guaranteed. Probably a glimpse of the mess after a natural disaster combined with the current unstable situation evoked the emotion.

Today I went boxing day shopping. After buying some nice shirts, although they were discounted, I thought “can I really afford them?” Income often hides unwanted reality. Now I have a job, have income, but it is still unstable and, above all, it is not a job that I want. I’m still a looser. I should remember hungry spirit as I wrote in an old post a year ago.

December 26, 2013Permalink