Norm and Culture

When I studied design at the University of Calgary, we took some core courses where students from all the programs of the faculty got together and learned together. In one class, a student from another program provided a short presentation to discuss speed in today’s life style, and asked me a question; “Japanese people do everything fast. What makes you guys do so?” I couldn’t answer the question well because it is “the norm” and we don’t know what has shaped the norm. Some people always rush other people around them assuming it’s “efficient”, but it’s not always the case. Even when nobody rushes us, typical Japanese feel they are forced by “something” to do everything fast. It’s the norm.

This tendency is often obvious in some office environment in Japan. People in Japan generally think they must work log hours everyday, and when they leave their office earlier than their coworkers, even after having worked for more than 10 hours, they apologize. One day, in my third year in my first company (which means, I was only one of a bunch of young employees), a newcomer told me “excuse me Mr. Shibata, I have to leave now. I’m sorry.” I asked him “why do you apologize? Do you think I take offence if you leave earlier than I do?” He replied “no.” Then I asked “who do you think would get angry if you leave now?” He said “you may be right. Nobody, maybe.” What I wanted to tell him is that he wouldn’t need to worry about it, but it revealed that we were somehow controlled by ambiguous rules. Why does it happen?

You may have heard of recent news about Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, like this internet article; he has decided to take parental leave for two months. By the way, if I understand correctly, the term “parental leave” has been recognized relatively recently because that type of leave used to be only called “maternity leave”. Anyways. Many people might wonder why it was possible, and the internet article describes the theory behind that.

New parents at Facebook can take four paid months off. They receive benefits such as $4,000 for each child born or adopted. As we’ve written before, however, employees may feel reluctant to take advantage of such plans if their companies don’t have a culture that encourages taking time off. And company culture typically comes from the top.

I believe he thought not only about his family but also thought of his employees. According to another internet article, only few employees take this type of leave even if everyone is allowed to do so. There must be different reasons, and probably some of them do not take leave because it’s the norm. I want to believe that such a norm can be changed by strong leadership, and it can even influence other companies or organizations where people are controlled by unwritten rules. While the norm is usually formed unintentionally by a big group of people, corporate culture can be developed by leaders as mentioned in the internet article above. Unfortunately, many people at higher positions in an organization, typically managers, do not have to lead others as long as they manage their job, as I wrote in an old post. As I wrote in another old post, a sophisticated system can be made by smart people in an organization, and I want to believe that they also, or possibly other people, lead others to maintain the system.

Third attempt failed. Am I lucky?

It’s always good to visit Niagara Falls. It looks differently in different seasons. It’s good to visit there with people who enjoy the scenery while some people take a glance at the falls and go home. Today I visited there again, but not for pleasure. I needed to go to the border service agency to extend my stay in Canada as a visitor. I parked my car at the agency, walked to U.S. and walked back to Canada to re-enter as a visitor.

Niagara Falls

I applied for permanent residency early this year, but one document expired before the immigration office makes a decision and I turned out to be ineligible because of that. I was informed of it yesterday. It’s a long story but I have been in “implied status” to legally stay in Canada, and becoming ineligible means that I have to leave Canada immediately. Since I am not ready to leave here right now, I chose to extend my stay as a visitor. This does not mean I cannot be an immigrant. Actually I can re-apply, and I’m sure I will do it soon after settling down in Japan.

This was my third attempt to apply for immigration to Canada and the next one will be the fourth. When I graduated from the University of Calgary, international students were allowed to do job hunting for only three months after graduation, and it was not long enough for me. After going back to Japan from Calgary, I applied for immigration as a skilled worker, but my skill was not “good enough” to be an immigrant. I don’t know why it is so difficult for me to be an immigrant in Canada, but I’ll keep trying anyways.

Now I think I was laid off by the uncivilized company at the right time. Leaving a company is always tough as I have experienced several times in the past. If I was not laid off, I would have had to leave the company from myself and might have left negative impression. And more importantly for me, I wouldn’t get compensation from the company. As I wrote in the previous post, layoff could be a chance to release me from a demanding life. I’ve lived on compensation for nearly two months, and since I’ve been in “implied status” which prevents me from getting a job, I couldn’t do serious job hunting but rather spent time on reconsidering what I have done from a different perspective as I wrote in a recent post, and focused on mindful living. Life is really unpredictable, and I’ve never thought of this scenario.

I’m lucky, so far. Whether I am really lucky or not depends on what will happen next, but I shouldn’t try to predict it. One good thing is that I feel I’m more receptive to unexpected events than before. Instead of trying hard to predict the future and prepare for it, I will try to retain this state and improve my flexibility, which is easily forgotten when things go as expected. I’m lucky to be unlucky.

As I wrote at the beginning, it is good to visit Niagara Falls with people who enjoy the scenery. Visiting there alone is not fun, but one good thing was nobody rushed me (seriously, some people rush others after taking a glance at the falls). I’ll come back and visit there again, though I don’t know it will take half a year or a year. Let things happen, and we’ll see.

Niagara Falls seen from back

Cooking and Eating

My mom never listened to me (and she must have thought I never listened to her). For a few years after graduating from my university, I stayed at my parents’ place and spent more than an hour to commute to work. I usually worked until late and as a result had supper at home late at night. It was only something to take to live and I didn’t want to spend time on it. I preferred something simple and told it to my mom, but she always prepared something that takes time to have such as hot pot. Eating was not something to enjoy but a time consuming daily task to me.

At that time I only thought I didn’t have time, but it might not be a matter of time. It might be the way of my thinking. I could have thought that supper was a time to forget about the job and release myself. But because of the demanding job I was not mentally healthy enough to think in that way. I don’t know if my mom wanted me to enjoy supper for this reason or she simply didn’t listen to me. Whichever it was, one thing that worsened the situation was that I didn’t know what cooking for other people is like then.

As I mentioned in a recent post, I went to ROM, Royal Ontario Museum, right after being laid off by the uncivilized company. Whenever I go there, as I wrote in an previous post, I find different things interesting or attractive to me. This time, a collection of cookware and tableware in the Pompeii special exhibition caught my attention. The common practice in Pompeii, or in any ancient Roman cities, seems not very different from that in Japan in the Samurai era as we see in so-called samurai dramas or movies; in upper-class houses, the kitchen was a busy place where servants worked and the dining room was a place for the rich people to enjoy meals, as depicted by the practically designed cookware and the decorative tableware. But that style of having a meal, which is still common in many societies today, is only a form of happiness, I believe. After having experienced living by myself and cooking for myself, I’ve found that cooking can be as fun as having a meal especially when cooking for other people.

Yesterday I had Izakaya Hiro with my ex-coworkers. In an old post that I wrote a little after moving to my current apartment room, I wrote that I would invite my friends and have a party. Izakaya is Japanese style bar restaurant where people enjoy drinking and eating traditional and modern Japanese food. Izakaya Hiro is a small party at my place where I serve my original Japanese and Asian fusion food to my friends. I enjoyed cooking for my friends and everyone thoroughly enjoyed the meal. It was really fun. I’ve had Izakaya Hiro several times and now I know what cooking should be like and what eating should be like.

In the Izakaya Hiro yesterday we talked about a book that I wrote about in an early post: 佐賀のがばいばあちゃん (My Gabai Grandma from Saga). In the book, the author tells about his financially-poor AND happy life with his grandma in his childhood. Today I read the book again and found something I have forgotten, which happens to be one of the 12 tools for more mindful living as I wrote in the previous post: be grateful. We tend to seek things that we don’t have and forget to appreciate what we have. Whether we are happy or not depends on how we think. Interestingly, in the foreword the author says that even layoff could be good if you think differently; it could be a chance to release you from a demanding life. When I read it, I thought “bingo!” Of course it does not mean that I don’t need to do job hunting, but it means that the current unstable situation could be a good period for me.

Happy?

My apartment is very old and many things do not work. Elevators never work normally. Intercom does not work at all. Air condition does not work properly especially when the season changes. Hot water stops once in a few months. Those are all technical issues, but they are not all. The laundry room is supposed to be opened at 9:30 am on weekend, but it rarely happens because someone does not do his or her job (we even don’t know who the someone is). Last weekend, I went to the laundry room around 9:45 am to find it was still locked and more than a few people were waiting. I waited for one minute and decided to go back to my room. About half an hour later, I went there again, but it was still locked and all the people who I saw last time were still waiting there. They wasted at least half an hour, and no one knew how many more minutes they would need to wait.

I was only lucky when I decided to go back to my room. There is no strategy to predict what time the laundry room will be opened. This laundry room case is only a simple example, of course, and everything happening around us is unpredictable (except for the speed of light!?). We often need to let things happen, and when something undesirable happens, we often need to accept it.

This is pretty much like what I learned and wrote on this blog a little more than two years ago. At that time, I found an internet article titled “12 Tools For More Mindful Living” and learned, for example, to become okay with discomfort or to let go of control, but two years seem long enough to forget that. This is what I wrote in an old post titled “Memory” a little more than a year and half ago.

As I wrote in the previous post, life is uncontrollable, and probably I should accept that being unstable is “normal”. It is kind of good to remember the feeling of helplessness to get ready for the next helpless period. Who knows?

Now I am a job hunter again. Who knew it? Nobody. I should recall this feeling again, and accept whatever as it is.

Today I had a chance to go to a cafe where a friend of mine works. This is what I found inside the cafe.

Coffee is happiness in a cup

Actually I found that happiness in my cup of coffee. Even when we do not have a cup of nice coffee, we should be able to find happiness everywhere. We should learn what mindful living is like.

By the way, I wrote about a ladybug in a recent post, and according to an internet article (sorry but turn down the volume on your computer before clicking this link), there was a reason for “ladybug invasion”: warm weather. A more surprising fact for me is that ladybugs are generally disliked in Canada, while they are usually liked in Japan. Hey, Canadians, be happy whether ladybugs are beneficial insects or not!

Job Shadow Experience

Things often happen at the right timing. When I had a drop-in career clinic session at my university as I wrote in the previous post, the counselor advised me to apply for Job Shadow Experience, which is part of their Experience Builder Program. It’s an opportunity for students and alumni to “have the chance to spend a day gaining first-hand workplace experience”. In other words, it lets students and alumni “shadow” professionals in a field of their interest. I knew the program but assumed it was for current students and didn’t expect she would recommend it to me. The deadline was 11:59 pm of the day. I went home, revised my resume, wrote a cover letter and submitted them online 11 minutes before the deadline. A few days later, I got email of acceptance.

It turned out to be a good experience. From a list of Job Shadow posts, I chose a project engineer position at an engineering design company in Cambridge, Ontario. People who work for an engineering project are usually engineers at different levels and a manager. But in that company there are project engineers between a project manager and other engineers. It was rare opportunity for me to talk with people who work for an engineering project like that. Besides their roles and capabilities, what impressed me was their attitude. Everyone who I talked to said “I like this job”. Honestly, I have not met people like them in workplaces I have ever been. Two of them have worked for the company for 15 years, which is uncommon in North America.

Yesterday, the day after Job Shadow Experience, I sent out thank you email to the mentors. They replied right away, and some of them told me that I could contact them when I need their help. It’s a typical polite reply and it does not mean, of course, that they will help me get a job. But they are actually helpful and when I was talking with them they showed me a sincere attitude. It’s good to know that some people treat me in that way when I tend to feel helplessness. It’s good to know some people think of me.

Today is BoA’s birthday. Happy birthday, BoA! It’s good to know I can still think of someone in this way.