Memory, another case

I have written 140 posts so far. Among the 140 different stories, one thing that I have not mentioned is, something romantic. I am not, of course, going to talk about my love story here. Ha! I often write about memories, like Memory of Mess, Memories of chestnuts, Seasonal food, scenery and food, and so on. In those short essays, I write what evokes certain memories or feelings, or what recalls past events or habits. I am sure that, for many people, some love songs remind them of their romantic, or for some people like me, sorrow memories and feelings.

I like to listen to Japanese songs on YouTube. I even have a private playlist of J-Pop (Japanese pop). Some of the songs on the playlist are new (“newest” ones are around three years ago before coming to Canada this time), and some others are old, like 80’s music or even older. A few days ago, I suddenly remembered a Japanese love song that was popular almost 10 years ago, and added it to the playlist. As I wrote in an old post, I came to Canada in 2003, and I listened to the song when I temporarily went back to Japan and spent a few months during the summer in 2005. That 9-year-old song still evokes a romantically sorrow feeling I had for a girl. Sadly and as usual, I was a friend of hers. Though it was one-way, I’m sure I sincerely thought of her as the love song recalls. Sad and good memories.

Now I’m in one-way love with my dream job… As I wrote in a “recent” post (I know this is like monthly blog now… I wrote it more than a month ago), something was wrong. As I mentioned in that post, the current discouraging situation (yes, it is still “current” as I wrote in the previous post) may be one of some steps forward, in other words, a meaningful step in the long term. Thinking of this idea actually made me feel better, but this is only one way to interpret the current situation. Recently I finished reading my most favourite book. I don’t remember how many times I have read the book. Anyways. In that book, the author talks about a person who had been depressed and then recovered through a remarkable experience in a day. He finds that life is not about fame or reputation but how people contribute for others. I agree with him. The main cause of my “negative” interpretation of the current situation is, as I mentioned in the previous post, that what I am doing now is not what I “planned” to do, or from a different perspective, it is not what people who know me well anticipated I would do. It’s not about “fame”, but can I re-think of it, that is, how I contribute for other people by doing it, though it is not what I “planned” to do? It is tough to accept this idea, I know, but it should make me feel even better. Now I need some more time to accept it.

Of course I don’t mean to cheat on my dream job. Let’s think in this way; though it is one way, I sincerely think of it, like I did for the girl 9 years ago. Or even nicer way to make myself better is to look for opportunities to contribute for others with my design skills even though it is not a “job”, right?

August 20, 2014Permalink